Blondes: myths and truths

From Darwin to Playboy and not forgetting Dicaprio, they prefer blondes, but… How much truth is there in the Blonde Index?

Dear blonde, have you ever taken longer than usual to get a joke? Have you ever gone to see The Great Beauty and when you came out you felt unable to understand not only what happened in those two and a half hours but also why the person who accompanied you was so excited and the Academy gave her the Oscar? Have you tried to reconfigure your TV while watching Big Bang Theory thinking it was in another language? Do you still don’t know who Kaiser Sozé is in Usual Suspects?

If the answer to these questions is yes, I have good news and bad news for you: the good news is that it has nothing to do with the color of your hair and the bad news is… it has nothing to do with the color of your hair.

(Jokes aside) . Let me explain. According to a study conducted by Stanton University, funded by other people’s money (I hope) and published in Nature Genetics, blond hair is nothing more than an alteration of chromosome 12 that only and exclusively affects hair color. It does not affect any other cells, including brain cells.

Super Blondes.

Now that scientists have cleared up this doubt, finally leaving aside more trivial matters such as the malaria vaccine or that damned global warming everyone is talking about, we can affirm that blond hair makes you frighteningly attractive and that no one dares to go too dark brown with you. Let’s take the opportunity to continue analyzing myths and facts about this wonderful golden color:

Brunettes are smarter

False. I am sure that if we close our eyes we will all think of examples of brunettes who are not at the top of the pyramid of knowledge. I don’t like to name names, but when you see a blonde and say “dumb”, look a little further. Look at her roots, for example.

You are more attractive Ferdadero (that is, neither true nor false). I am Peruvian, for me a natural blonde is like a unicorn. And although it is true that I am not the only one, there is no evidence that this is an unquestionable truth. If we look at the surveys we will see that, depending on the sources, most men, to a greater or lesser extent prefer a blonde, and a high percentage of those who say no, are incapable of not breaking their necks when one of them enters the room.

But on the other hand, Darwin died trying unsuccessfully to find an evolutionary sexual selection in blondes, so maybe all this is just nonsense. But let’s face it, if a man like him went to his grave thinking about blondes, you must have something.

Brigitte, blonde à la française.

You are more likely to have light eyes.

False. As we said before, the alteration only affects hair color and has nothing to do with eye color or having a better time. It seems to be true that there are more blondes with light eyes than brunettes, but this is just a coincidence.

You look younger True (once again) It’s not that all blondes have boyish features or behave as if they are, but they tend to possess some infantiloid attributes that attract men (thin chins, small noses, etc). Also, according to Carol Jahme, a brunette contributor to The Guardian, blonde is an honest test of a woman’s youth, as blondes tend to lose their color as it darkens with menopause. This worked much better before hydrogen peroxide came into play, of course….

Men prefer them… with curves True. This is a bit abrupt but let’s not beat around the bush: if we look at the most famous men’s magazine of all time (Playboy) and its centerfolds from the last 60 years, we’ll discover an overwhelming prominence of blondes over brunettes. But it is not only the hair color that makes them the protagonists of the month. According to a survey conducted by the dating site, 3% of men prefer blondes, true, but up to 27% prefer a woman with curves compared to a very, very small minority of 2% who prefer a woman with the measurements of a top model.

Here is another myth to bust and it has nothing to do with hair: we are not attracted to women THAT thin.

Marilyn Monroe

You have a better time False (in principle) . Stanton says it, neither dumber, nor smarter, nor lighter eyes, nor more propensity to have fun, but it is true that if you like to be noticed and you like the looks of men without caring what others say, you have all the chances to be a happy and smiling blonde. For those who like it well, and for those who don’t, you know: I’m hot (and you will be a hot blonde if you want to be), people laugh.

You are a viva la vida

True (or rather, you should be) .

I don’t know if all you blondes are but you should be because, and this is where the dramatic ending comes in: you are going extinct. Blond is a recessive gene and it is estimated that in about 200 years you will have disappeared from the face of the Earth so, as the saying goes, a vivir que son dos días. Well, more like seventy-three thousand and fifty, but I’m not going to bore you with numbers.

So you know. Maybe you’re not a natural blonde but you have a blonde soul and that’s why you’ve fallen for this article. Anyway, I’m sure you can play the game of misdirection. No matter how much Stanton says, you’re still blonde after all. Blonde like Daenerys Targaryen, Charlize Theron, or Marilyn Monroe herself.

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