Yesterday I took some time to erase you from my life and unintentionally I read your messages again, those that you wrote me at all times and where you swore eternal love to me; Suddenly my heart shook with your memory. Without realizing it, I began to remember every moment that we lived together and inevitably I smiled. I was not being objective, because I left aside the bad times we went through and omitted the reasons that filled my heart with sadness and for which we ended our relationship.
I have to admit that sometimes I’ve wanted you to come back, but something makes me reconsider and I forget. So I talk to myself and I say: “No! Actually I don’t want him to come to talk to me about love anymore, I don’t want him to come with his promises and failed attempts at change, he doesn’t even know love, but maybe he will do the impossible to convince me as he always has, proving me right. and being affectionate”. But it’s all a lie, that doesn’t last long, and we both must know that our time is over, that we didn’t know how to value it and that we don’t even know how to love.
I also don’t want you to be wrong if one day we meet face to face and I greet you or smile slightly and don’t treat you badly; Keep in mind that if I behave like this it is because you are already part of my past, although I must admit that there was a time when I could not even imagine having had a conversation with you, because crying won me over. But everything changed thanks to the coldness of your distance and your total abandonment, which gave me the necessary strength not to go back and accept that everything had come to an end, to make it clear that if I behave nicely with you it is out of love for myself and nothing plus.
It seems that I’m crazy to talk to myself, I know, but to have the ability to face things I need to talk to my soul, the one that asks me to be careful when it comes to you, that asks me not to misunderstand things and not keep you resentment, because doing so is like taking poison hoping that the other will die and in the end only my heart dies. However, you should know that this calm that I keep and the forgiveness that you have achieved do not make me forget the situations that marked me, because the heart will never suffer from amnesia, he perfectly remembers the reasons why we parted ways and although I cannot leave you all responsibility, I know you were more to blame than me.
Today I have realized that I would no longer fall back on your words, that you will not become that love that I longed for so much. Keep going on your way and if we cross paths we can exchange a hello and a goodbye, but no more than that. Now I’m going to look straight ahead and wait for someone else to start with.