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Tired mother writes a letter to her husband on Facebook

As much as we want to believe it and despite their incredible ability to keep things relatively calm without going crazy (at least not completely), moms are not superheroines; they are human: they get tired, they get fed up and more than once a day they want to give up motherhood.

Celeste Erlach, mother of two little ones, sent a strong message to her husband: children are raised by two. Most families grew up seeing how the home and the little ones were the exclusive task of mothers, and now it is expected that, in addition to fulfilling this, they also work. That’s why Celeste decided to write a letter to her husband…

“Dear husband…”

Celeste Erlach: Letter from exhausted wife to her husband;  family in water park, mom, dad and children

I need more help. I know last night was hard for you, I asked you to take care of the baby so I could go to bed early. He cried. He was yelling, rather. I could hear him upstairs and my stomach lurched at the sound, he wondering if he should go downstairs to release you from the torture or close the door and get the break he so desperately needed. I chose the latter.

After 20 minutes you came to the room, the baby was still crying, you put him in the crib and brought it closer to my side of the bed. It was a clear gesture that you were done taking care of him. I wanted to yell at you, seriously I was about to start an epic fight with you at that time. I was taking care of our two children ALL day. The least you could do was hang out with him for a couple of hours so I could get some rest at last. Is it too much to ask?

Celeste Erlach: Letter from exhausted wife to her husband;  mom carrying her two children sitting on the couch, disheveled

I know that we both grew up in a house with the typical roles of mother and father. The burden of caring for children fell entirely on our moms, while our dads were relatively relieved of that responsibility. They were excellent parents, but they were not expected to diaper, feed, worry, and care for their children. Moms were superwomen who took care of the home: they cooked, cleaned and raised the children. Any help from their husbands was welcome, but not expected.

I see how every day we are more and more immersed in that familiar routine. My responsibility is to feed the family, clean the house and take care of the children even after work. I feel that I am to blame for this because I have created the illusion of power with everything. And to be honest, I wish I could.

Celeste Erlach: Letter from exhausted wife to her husband;  mom carrying two children in a room with toys and television on a children's channel

I see my friends and other moms doing great and I know you can too. If they can and if our moms could, why not me? I do not know. Perhaps our friends are perfect in public, but in the privacy of their homes they also struggle. Maybe our moms suffered in silence and years later just don’t remember how hard it was. Or maybe this is a thought that haunts me, I am not qualified for this job. And as much as it costs me to say it: I need more help.

Asking you makes me feel like a failure. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father and you do a great job with the kids. Besides, this should be easy for me, right? Because of the… maternal instinct? But I’m human and I sleep, if it suits me, five hours a day. I’m tired. I need you.

Celeste Erlach: Letter from exhausted wife to her husband;  children in the kitchen with chocolate on their faces

In the mornings I need you to help me get our little boy ready while I take care of the baby, make breakfast and have a cup of coffee. And no, getting the child ready does not mean leaving him in front of the television. It means that you take him to the bathroom, give him his breakfast, make sure that he drank water, prepare his backpack…

At night I need an hour to de-stress in bed knowing that our child is asleep and that the baby is safe in your hands. I know it’s hard to hear him cry. Trust me, I know. But if I can take care of him and calm him down most of the day, you can do it for an hour or two. Please.

Celeste Erlach: Letter from exhausted wife to her husband;  mom exercising at home with her son on her back and the room with toys lying on the floor

On the weekends I need to rest a little more, get out of the house and feel like a normal person, even if it’s just a short walk around the block or a trip to the store. And although it seems that I have everything under control, I also need your support. That when the children sleep you offer to wash the dishes and do not expect me to do everything.

Finally, I need to hear you say that you are grateful for what I do. I want you to notice when I do the laundry or when I prepare dinner, to realize that I have never asked you to stay home when you have extra activities at work or when you go out to play sports. When one is a mother, everyone assumes that we must be at home all the time and always available to take care of the children, whether you are there or not.

Celeste Erlach: Letter from exhausted wife to her husband;  happy mom carrying her son on her back

I know our parents didn’t make it that way, and I really hate having to ask. I wish I could do it all and it was a piece of cake, I wish I didn’t need a little recognition from you to do what I’m supposed to do as a mother. But I am waving a white flag and acknowledging that I am human. I’m telling you how much I need you and if I keep this up I’m going to fall apart. That would hurt you, our children and our family. Because let’s face it: you need me too.

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